busy busy

lots to blog, no time to blog it.

i was gonna do a quickie "happy anniversary to the bear!" post, but i got home late that night, and the computer i was surfing on didn't have any pictures of us on it (or any personal pictures, for that matter). so happy belated anniversary, bear! i can't believe it's been three years! thanks for your love, patience, and hard work. i love you with all my heart.

work is keeping me pretty busy. winnie even made me a spreadsheet to help me keep track of my responsibilities. note that this only keeps track of currently active jobs. i do have a freelance job or two that is not listed because they're on hold for now.

[redaction brought to you by today's color: chartreuse!]

oh, and here's my current happy song.

so summery, so carefree, so chartreuse, so...happy. :)

ok, my new goal is one "real" blog post before school starts up again in less than a month (!).

it's been awhile

it' so hard to blog when you fall out of the habit of doing it regularly. then you finally start, and blogger crashes. without saving your entry. ugh.

but i'm here! so let's do this. a lot has happened in the last couple of months, so i don't know where to begin. i'd love to post photos, but i haven't been such a good asian lately. i'm out of practice with the camera, too, and find myself hesitant to even take it out much less use it. i do have some, but they're all either on the other compuer, on my external hard drive, or still in the camera. yeah, i've been lazy about transferring and uploading, too.

so i guess we'll have to settle for a photo-less yay/boo for now since i haven't done one of these in forever, either. or maybe a boo/yay since it's more fun to end on a happy note.

boo sickness!
our family doggie passed.
my stepdad was diagnosed with cancer. stage IV.
my grandmother isn't doing so well and has been moved into a home for 24/7 care (in korea).
yay!
doggie provided a lot of love and companionship for our family for 14 years.
stepdad is miraculously doing well. he's responding well to the initial surgery and rounds of chemo, and his spirits are and strength is high.

boo.
i got a [computer] virus, one of my main hard drives died (most of my data was on another drive in the same computer, thank God), and one of my email accounts got hacked.
yay!
i got a new laptop that is supposedly more secure.
boo.
it's a mac. yes, i've crossed over to the dark side. please have mercy on my soul.
and dang os x 10.6.whatever i'm on cannot print to PDF, only save to PDF. this is a major problem for me, especially when school starts again.
yay!
bear replaced the dead hard drive so my desktop still runs windows (but the more secure windows 7). i can use the PC to print to PDF.
and yay!
the mac is pretty and runs well so far. ugh, i feel so dirty.

boo.
i haven't socialized much this summer, despite being on break.
yay!
for the past month or so at least, it's because i am employed. finally. i found an internship for the last bit of the summer and a part-time, work-at-home gig. whee!
boo.
i work a lot.
yay!
i have jobs! that i enjoy (but still stress me out)! i have mini income!

boo.
i can't afford any of the lovely trips on jetsetter. or even travelzoo top 20.
yay!
the bear and i did take a long weekend up to SF and a road trip up the coast to monterey with his crazy uncle and cousins. i'll have to post the few photos i took from those trips soon.

boo.
i had another birthday that brings me very close to 30.
yay!
i hear your 30s are better than your 20s, or something like that.

boo.
i am at my heaviest. i can't fit in any of my pants. like i REALLY can't because i can't just go around without them unbuttoned all day. no, they won't even button when i suck in. not only that, this time, i'm way flabbier, vein-ier, wrinklier, and just plain old-seeming than the other times i've gotten to this weight.
yay!
i've discovered the comfort that is dresses with leggings and cute flats. it's almost as comfy as wearing PJs all day.

boo.
still plagued by self-doubt thanks to this fun thing called grad school and a bleak job market.
yay!
my overall mental health, emotional health, and spirits have improved somewhat over this summer. i've been blessed with both some relaxing time and work, which have helped a lot.

boo.
the bear and i feel old.
yay!
we're enjoying growing old together thus far. our anniversary is coming up next week. it's the leather anniversary. heh. heh.
boo.
the other day, the bear said, "you're the perfect person for me, except for the fact that you use twitter."
yay!
the other day, the bear said, "you're the perfect person for me..." selective hearing rocks.

boo
too many parentheses and brackets!
yay!
it's my blog.

i promise i'll have pictures next time, and that next time will be sooner than in a couple of months.

two years strong

those are the words the bear greeted me with this morning as we woke up.

tonight, we'll celebrate with korean chinese food. the bear's original plan was to get me a beach towel (traditional gift: cotton), take me to the beach, and then i added, "and then go out for chinese (modern gift: china) food?" we're skipping the beach part and going straight for the food.

happy anniversary, my love. thanks for making this marriage thing fun, even when not-so-fun things come our way. i am excited for the many more anniversaries to come.

tired

i slept 5 hours in the past 2 days. for a bleh, useless critique of the work i produced while not sleeping. i totally missed on a couple key components of the assignment. oh well. potato brain needs to comprende soon.

anyway, happier thoughts:
weekend was grrreeeeat! cee and me went to california girl's lovely shower on saturday. seriously, cute mama-to-be, lovely family and friends, beautiful home perfect for entertaining, cute nursery, and great bathroom art to top it all off! afterward, we went to pa pa walk where i had noodles (cee had hainan chicken rice) instead of soup in toast and then BETTER [than sinbala] crack shaved ice. the ice is finer. the GIGANTIC mango shaved ice thing that could feed an army and is served at pa pa walk is quite...impressive even for $15 for ice, sugar, ice cream, and mango. and yes, we did eat at california girl's, too.



godpup yoshi has a goatee.

i got a lovely surprise in the mail today from the somewhat-far east. i LOVE snail mail and checking the mailbox compulsively. that's why the bear married me. he hates checking mail.

i always did think those cheesy beefy melts or beefy cheesy melts (whatever) sounded gah-ross. turns out it seems i was right, and i didn't even have to try one.

my campus job is easy peasy, and there's downtime i can use for studying. whee! and i get a discount, whee!

my classes are pretty interesting so far. although they will be quite the load. bye bye for three months, world.

too much to read in my google reader (1,000+). doing some homework then going to bed instead. yum. bed.

husbands beware

please feel free to stay up late every night playing video games and not going to bed with your wife and cuddling with her as you should.

however, we cannot promise there will not be any consequences. after following the above course of action, you may find yourself with no place to rest your weary head. and we know how weary heads get after working a full day then spending almost another full work day playing video games.

observe.

like i warned--no space for weary heads.




p.s. thank you all for your loving, supportive comments in my previous post. not to worry much! like i said, my life's scales are still heavier on the good side than bad side, and on a day-to-day basis, i'm doing alright. i just got all ponderous pooh bear and had to let it out before i did another keeping it real goes wrong. i promise less debbie downer posts as i do have a few things to celebrate this week! plus look, i can still laugh at my unattractively sleeping self. ;). and no, i'm not bipolar even if i may seem so here.

#1 in vegas

#1 anniversary, that is. well so far. topically.
[way long.]

.see.
checked out the "new" planet hollywood. still looks like aladdin.

pretty flowers. someone needs to give me a weekly floral budget the size the of the wynn's. or even THEhotel's.

the mainland. too bad neither of us is really chinese even if our names sound it.

fobulous.
actually, V is for vodka tonic.

in my new favorite place. i think i'm going to print some stickers and start doing this at home. kidding. or am i?

.eat.
village seafood buffet. rio. would have been better were we not sitting in subarctic temperatures. the mini creme brulee was surprisingly very good. the gelato was quite refreshing, too. oh, tip for the dimsum bar: fill up only on the shumai. the rest ain't worth it. get some aiite sushi or really good crab claws instead. full at the end, but full on our terms.

my buffet plating skillz are beeeyooooteeeful, non?
rice in the cocktail sauce is the finishing touch.

mesa grill. caesar's palace. brunch. alright bobby flay, i guess you do southwestern alright even if you're from new york. REALLY full at the end. already full after our shared appetizer. somehow ate most of our entrees, minus some bread, anyway. piggies 'r' us. probably my favorite meal of the trip.

bread to start. carbs are my BFFs.

wood fire-grilled quesadilla app.
hash browns, BACON, and cheese within.
spicy tomato salsa, cheese, and egg over easy on top.
hungover piggies dug in too fast.

NO MORE SPICY BEEF TENDERLOIN TARTARE LEFT FOR POTATO?
hmph. pork tenderloin sandwich it is.
flavorful. tender. seasoned well. YUMMAY.
red onion, arugula, and ancho-chile mayo so good.
fries good. seasoning good. too salty, though.

mesa burger for carnivore bear.
[sorry, really didn't mean to take a pic of you while chewing.]
LOTS of meat. double cheddar cheese (i loved, bear deemed it overpowered the hunk o' meat).
really good. even for a $16 burger.

battista's hole in the wall. the bear's kinda place. what places like buca di beppo are contriving to be. SO much food for not that much money. the bear likes places that give you lots of food for not a lot of dough. you get soup or salad (the bear loves places that include soup or salad with your entree instead of having to order/pay for it separately), super buttery garlic bread, unlimited house wine, bigass entree usually with a side or two included, and their signature "cappuccino." ya know, solid, filling, comfort fare like spaghetti and meatballs that's "italian." cute old guy that comes by to play his accordion. dark, no frills, lots of fun kitschy shtuff all over. so full. i was in pain for the rest of the night. like, i couldn't do anything but fall into a restless sleep and occasionally wake up to moan in pain only to fall back into a fitful sleep again.

the bearfather.
bottomless free house vino included.

the minestrone soup was hearty and homey. yum.
boo. no photo.

my linguine with clams.
the bowl is so deceptive and so deep.
i ate maybe half the pasta and most of the clams.

bear's steak. i forget which, but it was smothered in a fresh tomato sauce.
accompanied by mystery spinach that tasted great when mixed with the steak's sauce.
also accompanied by a side of penne with marinara.
my mom had those plates back in the day.
i had those plates until i got married. so homey. so 70s.

"cappuccino" AKA hot chocolate with a tiny hint of mocha.
and LOTS of sweetened whipped cream. bleh.
i like my caffeine more bitterer.
bear loved.
bear also loves white chocolate mochas at the 'bucks. bleh.

our complimentary anniversary dessert.
friendly guy the next booth over asked us, "how many?"
"one," the bear sheepishly replied.
"and they said it wouldn't last!" said random dude.
everyone's a comedian.
we giggled at how sad "one" sounded.

'wichcraft. didn't cast a complete spell over us. really good panini. really packed with flavor. good combos. but a bit overpriced. i can (and often do) get great panini that comes in bigger portions on the westside for less. at least i was just satisfied rather than dying from fullness for one meal. finally.

breakfast for lunch (strip steak + eggs) on the left.
turkey breast with balsamic marinated onions and i forget what else on the right.
strip steak marinaded well. tender. could have used some spread on the bread.
turkey sandwich SO packed with flavor. meat so moist for white meat.
see? kinda mini. :(.
well, the right portion for someone of my size, i guess.

bouchon. hee hee hee honh honh honh. our fancy meal. i know, it's just a bistro, but we're not that baller, unforch. so hard to find. go past the guard at the venetian's guest elevators (i forget which tower). take it to the 10th floor. get off. walk across a bridge. ta da. we JUST made our reservation time after madly running through the palazzo and the venetian. in heels. i mean, dress shoes, in the bear's case. ugh to stressful beginnings. hence no camera at the beginning. i was too irritated.

wish we had ordered some more of the adventurous stuff like the pressed summer melon salad with a bajillion fancy things on its plate. or the cold fennel soup. too bad the bear doesn't like melon. or fennel. bah. all good, solid food with the "right" balance of flavors, but nothing that completely blew us away. good bistro food. that is all.

so full thanks to the unintentional dessert parade at the end. otherwise, portions were a good size. minus the overflowing fries. that was a bit excessive, but one can never had too many fries. i think i actually walked instead of rolled "home" after this meal at least.

the bear had delicious vodka tonics.
i had a nice glass of pinot noir from...um...yeah.

soup a l'oignon! very good.
not overly salty (like most are) and still very flavorful.
i ate it way too quickly.

bear had salmon.
good. interesting sauce.
really nice crust on top. someone teach me how to do that, please.
fish cooked to perfect doneness.
BABY artichokes on the side! BAAABY!

i had steak frites.
they actually cooked it medium rare.
the onion and walnut butter on top were so so good.
yay for a fatter cut than flatiron!
there were about 10 times more fries than shown.
good value if you want a decent steak not at a steakhouse.
'tony bourdain was right. REALLY good frites.

we shared the macaroni gratin.
yes, that's mac 'n' cheese.
no crazy stinky or strong cheeses, but SO good anyway.

trompe l'oeil a la magritte.
cute whimsical touch in an otherwise rather serious interior.

warm. old school vibe.
romantic until the restaurant got fuller and louder.
fancy-ish but casual.
not too pretentious.
brass. high ceilings. mahogany paneling.
navy mohair banquettes with brass nailheads.
and yes, vegas casual dress code was in full effect.
we were so overdressed in polo/khakis shoes and
swiss dot strapless black dress/heels.
oh well.
atmosphere, 'twas nice overall.

i indulged. i was in the mood for something custardy.
pot de creme? creme brulee? pot de creme?
creme brulee it is.

freakin' diabolical waiter practically made me order the creme brulee.
then came out with this complimentary annivesary gateau.
YUM. so many delicate, delicious layers.
the bear loved the raspberry orange sorbet. so not icy! so refreshing!

oh, plus all this.
ugh.

couldn't finish the sweets.

.drink.

fat tuesday. planet hollywood (also at mgm grand and caesar's palace). like klassy spring break or a frat party...in a casino.

jello shots. check.

[yummily frozen] jungle juice with a shot of everclear.
check.

we actually didn't drink much. really. i'm a lightweight.

.do.

gamble. what's that? bear didn't even hit the blackjack tables this time. my cheapass hates giving my money to casinos. if you had my luck and weren't cheap, you still wouldn't gamble either.

sleep. we did a lot of this. like we old fogies were usually back at the room with one of us knocked out by 10 PM. yeah, i'm not quite sure we're still in our twenties, either. found our new favorite un-vegas-like vegas THEhotel (had never stayed here previously). chic even five years after its beginning. contemporary. clean. just a slight touch of glam. so our taste. so us. so the best bathroom. we could live in that bathroom alone.

pose. did not take enough pictures together. this is the best one. really.
shop. of the window variety. wrong bag in wrong color at the cole haan outlet in primm. :(. everything else was too expensive for my soon-to-be-somewhat-unemployed butt.

the gun store. you think i'm kidding. print the coupon! or not. we did. for the bear, duh. can you imagine me shooting a gun? yeah, not a fun thought. i didn't even try a wimpy handgun. wuss.

apparently obama is very anti-gun.
apparently i don't like either candidate's stance (as posted inside) on gun control.

step right up!

what i decided to try to shoot. not.
i prefer bazooka bubble gum.

so cute. so ready.
for nothing.
well, to be the bear's photographer/videographer.
i don't know why he picked me to do that, either.

this is how we doooooo it. this is how we do it.

[is montell jordan stuck in your head now, too? good.]

kept rolling my ankles.
somebody needs to sweep more often.



i wasn't scurred at all.
it's not like i jumped and backed up after the first shot or anything.

super loud, chest thumping desert eagle does some damage.
bear is a good shot.
scary hostage is clean.
terrorists are dead.

and now impotent.

silly mp5 kept jamming.

faux a.c. slater is to' up.

.adventures.

itrip. i have a snazzy new itrip that actually works even in our sprawly metropolis. so, a tangent first. our crappy ford focus rental (damn you enterprise, next time we remember to go with hertz) came with power windows and locks, a stationary steering column set way too high for the bear, barely functional cupholders, an empty pacifico box in the trunk, NO insulation whatsoever, and a funky smell.

oh, and a cigarette lighter that had no power, which we found once out in the boonies and ready to put the itrip in action.

we both doubted the electrical line had been severed. everything else electrical was working fine, surprisingly. so early on, i said, "maybe it's its fuse." the bear troubleshot while driving. ever the professional. then he said, "i wonder if it's a fuse." that's what i said! but of course he hadn't heard me. hmph. anyway, the bear kept driving, and i busted out the manual and looked for a fuse of the same amperage that we could possibly switch out at some point. horn. no, we might need that. some sort of engine component. nah, that might be very useful. sunroof! we have no sunroof! maybe we can switch it! yay! IF they provide fuses in the slots for features the car doesn't have. hm.

finally, in primm, we stopped. the bear opened up the fusebox and did a little switcheroo. WHEE!!! it worked! ipod time! we are so handy, friends (i'm not your friend, guy. i'm not your guy, buddy. i'm not your buddy, friend.). we high-fived and went on our merry, sunroof-less, good tunes-filled way. for like another like 20 minutes until all the vegas stations started kicking in. we may be handy, but our timing sucks.

.summary.
ate a lot. slept a lot. enjoyed each other in our own lazy way. that's just how we roll. and roll is all you can do after eating like that. so blessed. i love you, bear.

happy anniversary, my love

this first year has flown.

[image removed by request by the no fun bear. and i LOVE that photo of him, too, with such kindess in his eyes.]

my love,

thank you for always making me know how to laugh. always.
thank you for taking the first big step in making us us again, almost a handful of years ago.
thank you for making me realize every day how blessed i am--not only to have you and be had by you but also opening my eyes to the countless good things that have been poured upon us.
thank you for being the easygoing, grounded half. Lord knows we (OK, i) need some of that.
thank you for dealing with my family more lovingly than i can.
thank you for showing me different ways to love those around me.
thank you for showing me how to love.
thank you for helping me enjoy every stage of our love and be in it rather than looking too forward to what it might become or looking back to what we had.
thank you for not only supporting me in pursuing my dreams but also for making sacrifices so that i can realize them.
thank you for understanding me most deeply.
thank you for being OK with the parts of me you don't understand and loving it all, known and unknown.
thank you for the nightly good night kisses accompanied by a soft prayer, even thought i'm usually knocked out, mouth wide open, drool everwhurr by the time you come to give them.
thank you for being you and staying you, even in and through our new relationship status.
thank you for showing me a tiny but amazing glimpse of His love.
thank you for an amazing first year. i know you put a lot of hard work and your whole heart into it.

i can't wait for the many years to come.

life is sweet AND savory

the best combo. despite my random, stressed post from yesterday and a not-so-great weekend, i have been overwhelmed with feelings of gratitude, realizations of how blessed i am, and an ability to savor the present lately. most of it is definitely not of my own ability as i'm naturally a future-worrying, anxious cynic. no matter the outcome of that aforementioned issue, i have resolved to have faith that it will work itself out, and even if the outcome is not ideal, to deal with it as responsibly and patiently as i can.

yay! vase is getting married in november, and i will have the honor of standing up there by her side as she begins this [most of the time] wonderful thing called marriage. i can't bear to use the haggish term that is part of the title i will bear.

yay! really, my low-key birthday celebrations this year were delicious, and i'm not just talking about the food. surrounded by love, the ones i love and love me, wonderful places, wonderful food, and such generosity and hospitality.

yay! TMI tuesday! as i was entering the restroom at work today, one of our floormates' employees was entering the men's room. his cell phone rang just as he was opening the door. i heard him say, "hi john. i'm going to put you on mute for just a few minutes here, but i'll be right back. sorry to put you on hold." if only john knew. there is also a woman who likes to sit the ADA stall around lunch time and gab on her phone about all sorts of matters. yep, she was in there gabbing today right after i encountered john-on-the-phone and the guy he was calling. oh, and dude's name was john! john was on hold while his friend was visiting the john. tee hee. ugh.

yay! i got rejected, but it's ok as i've already made a decision independent of that result. didn't wanna go there anyway. hmph. yeah, so it sucks to get rejected even if i didn't want to go there, but i'm almost over it.

yay! tonight, i came home, grilled up some salmon, sweet onions, and saturn nectarines on our cuisinart griddler (perfect for those too lazy and too afraid of big grills...and great for paninis...and for those that want something sleeker than a george foreman). made a ginger/rice vinegar/olive oil/fresh thyme (so envying winnie's veggie gang right about now) vinaigrette to drizzle on top. so summery and yummy. recipe courtesy of my most recent real simple. it was accompanied by a good dinner time prayer with the bear, good red wine, coldplay's new album playing in the background, and some good potatobear connection time. so sweet. so savored. so savory. and everything smelled so dang good.

i forgot to post this on my birthday, so here we go. random photo time.
the cake vase got for my 21st birthday. it kinda melted, but the photo was intact. yeah, i totally looked like a boy as a baby.

good things

oh yeah, my unpatriotic self blogged up a storm on the 4th but totally forgot to say happy independence day, all! the bear and i celebrated by being absolute bums and staying in. all day. it was actually very relaxing and nice, although i did start to get stir crazy in the evening.

so back to the title of this post. good things:

• like i said, baby brother has a job lined up for fall. yay for him!
• cee met me at my gym a couple of weeks ago to lend me julia and jacques: cooking at home. she so sweetly also gave me an early birthday gift of cooking with all things trader joe's. neither of us loved the use of a lot of their frozen seafood in the recipes, but it's a good source in finding new sauces of theirs and what to do with them besides throwing it on top of meat.
• i had a lovely lunch with diabolina da fashionista herself last tuesday. she's, like, psychic or something. i love polka dots but feel like i can rarely pull them off. i also love love love black, white with a dash of red. all were incorporated into her outfit. loved that we were both rocking red shoes. red shoes make me happy. plus we had quite the heady conversation for a first date. plus she's really lovely, funny, real, and open in real life, as one might imagine from reading her.
• despite work being a major bitch, rezzie dezzie and i have been having some fun moments together. mostly griping and commiserating, but we're also laughing and being able to find the humor in the ridiculous situations we find ourselves in instead of being sour stressballs.
• i'm completely crazy, but the bear is so sweet and always knows how to talk me down from [hypothetical] ledges. case in point: i came home majorly pissed from a routine dental appointment that went awry saturday (no worries my teef are fine now. notice i did not use "teeth."). let's just say the bear did not wake up to a pleasant scene but totally turned the day around.
  
• i was able to return to my dental office, get them to fix things, and calmly let them know why i was so unhappy despite the fact that the mistake wasn't really that big of a deal. too bad the hygienist was a non-confrontational first generation dude that high-tailed it out and left the poor assistant to hear me out and apologize to me, when it was really his fault.
  
• i realized that i am finally learning to love me for me, see me as He sees me, and starting to be confident in who i am. i'm not totally there yet, and there are parts of me that definitely aren't getting my love and need improvement, but i'm finally getting to know me. and it feels damn good.
• i think the last point is a gift as i will soon go through trials which i know will most likely crush any and all sense of self-confidence and self-worth i have. oh well, it'll be good while it lasts, non? ;)
• the bear and i stayed up until an ungodly (quite literally since it made us miss church) hour last night finishing up our anniversary trip plans, speaking two completely different languages while both speaking english, and giggling like crazy over nothing. i felt young again. oh wait, we are young. really, it was nice to bond at night as our sleep schedules are so different that we rarely get to anymore.

and now, it's almost time for another monday. the end of this coming week is looking very promising, though!

i should have been in bed ages ago

instead, i am meal planning for vegas. that's right, after all my begging for help on central coast and santa barbara recs, we decided to go to vegas instead. i haven't been in four years. the last time was for our friends' wedding, and it was a rather quickie and budget trip. the bear is an expert on everything except food there as bachelor parties and boys' weekends have brought him there a lot more often than i've been. his visits have been fewer and further between lately, though. this time, we want to do vegas at a more relaxed, romantic pace and really experience it together.

the hotels are booked. activities are planned as we'll probably just do a lot of walking around, tennis (at night of course), eating + drinking, and lounging by the pool. neither of us are gamblers. at the rate i'm going, we'll probably blow our budget on the food, so probably no shows or spa this time around.

so that leaves me with the food planning. this is the list i started with compiled from all over the web and from a lot of weezermonkey's and a's recs. i want it all. just call me miss piggy. my whole family did until i was about 3 or 4, thanks to the luxurious rolls of baby fat i carried around.

[purposely blurry, this time]

and now, my short list:

problem is, we'll only be there three real days and three nights. we probably won't be up in time for breakfast, either. so that's only 6 meals. i'm at 19 right now.

the other problem is that my (and the bear's) cheap ass(es) is(are) having problems swallowing the price at the restaurant i really want to go to for our blowout real anniversary dinner.

i'm crazy. i should go to sleep.

romantical

"how is a snoopy nail clipper romantic?" you ask? well, here goes.

i love this dang nail clipper despite the fact that the red plastic nail-catching mechanism doesn't perform its function and continually slides forward making clipping nails more and more difficult with each "clip clip." i found it at some random street stall in hong kong, one glorious spring break when my friend's family took my family around hong kong to delight in its shopping and cuisine (fish intestine custard, anyone? another story for another time; i really do love most cantonese food). my super-americanized self had been afraid to bargain most of my time there, but i grew some balls suddenly when i saw my first love snoopy in rather practical form. i bargained. hard. i won him for i-don't-even-remember-how-much. i now feel a bit guilty knowing those few dollars would probably have been better used by the proprietor of the stall than my over-indulged self. but i'm still proud that i bargained.

one quiet night, during round two of potatobear dating, i decided to clip my nails. snoopy was NOT in his house!!! i always returned him to his place after use. he was not there. i turned the contents of my under sink cabinet and medicine cabinet upside down looking for him. nowhere. sad. i randomly get distraught about the smallest things (such as tearing a belt loop off of my favorite capri jeans as i did last weekend...yet another story for another time), and this was one of them. but the metal was so sharp! it clipped my nails so cleanly! and it was sooooooo cute!!! the bear witnessed all of this. then he went home as it was a work night.

a short while later, we were chatting online. i had mostly forgotten about the snoopy loss as i was still in the denial stage. he sent me a link to an ebay auction. for my exact snoopy nail clipper. a close up of it revealed text saying, "SNOOPY copyright 1958." the auction was also titled "vintage." we decided against paying $20+ AND shipping for a potentially used (ew!) nail clipper. i composed a quick eulogy in my head for the deceased pooch, then gave him up for lost. then i was so utterly touched by the bear's thougtfulness. i had forgotten, but he hadn't. he saw my anguish over the loss and did all he could do in his computer brainiac power to make it all better. swoon.

that's right little girls of the world watching sleeping beauty (my little brother's favorite movie on BETA when he was three...tee hee...don't kill me baby-brother-who-is-7-inches-taller-and-a-third-degree-black-belt-
in-taekwondo)--romance isn't a dance in the clouds while your dress magically changes back and forth from pink to blue to pink to blue to...with prince charming who has just slain the evil and completely horrifying witch/dragon and kissed you awake from eternal slumber. it's the small things.




postscript: i found snoopy a couple of weeks later. under a pile of papers on my desk. and he also read "SNOOPY copright 1958." i guess the one on ebay wasn't so vintage after all, since mine came well-packaged and totally brand new (or so i liked to believe) in 1998. every time i clip my nails, even my grody toenails, like earlier tonight, i am reminded of how much the bear cares and how considerate he is toward fulfilling my every need and desire. it makes an annoying personal hygiene chore much, much sweeter.