liar, liar pants on fire

apparently, for the new old me, the more i have to do, the more i need distractions to help me procrastinate. why the regression? argh.

anyway, had to vent somewhere.

scene: me, admiring the cute baby table saws that they just got in in the woodshop. seriously, power tools can be way cute. especially when mini. oh, all this while waiting to use the one scroll saw as there was a dude there cutting everything and its mother.

guy: are you waiting for me?
me: yes.
guy: well, it might be awhile.
me: well, i just have two quick cuts. can i squeeze 'em in?
guy: i think you should come back in about half an hour.

a-hole.

then in studio today, we learn that the models we've been building over the weekend "are too detailed" and will no longer be part of our final deliverables. instead, we have to build a different kind of model. bah. i stayed up late last night building that model instead of writing my paper why?

despite the above, i'm suprisingly chipper since i'm not as sleep-deprived thanks to the holiday. whee!

must start paper so i can finish by 9 AM, when it's due. bye bye for now.

REALLY?!?

[office phone rings at 5:30 PM]

who the heck is calling me now? leave me alone!

me: this is dapotato. (unfortunately, that's not exactly how i answered my office line.)
never-will-be-employed-at-this-rate girl: hi. soooo...do you guys have any internships available?
me: unfortunately, we are not hiring any interns at this time.
NWBEATRG: [sounding indignant] uh, why not?!?
me: with our current workload and staffing, we do not require an intern at this point.
[what i wish i'd said: i don't have to answer that question, rude butt. good bye.]
NWBEATRG: so, you're not hiring?
me: we do have one position open for someone with a minimum of five years of experience, and that is our only current opening.
NWBEATRG: well, i want an internship or entry-level position.
me: like i said, i'm sorry, but we don't have any openings at that level right now.
NWBEATRG: oh. ok. thanks for your time anyway, i guess.
me: [dripping with sarcasm] my pleasure. bye. *click*

i highly doubt she sensed the sarcasm. and i'm not exaggerating what she said. i have transcribed it pretty much word-for-word here. i knew i shouldn't have answered my phone.

oh, and yes, we're hiring. to replace me. so let me know if you have any candidates as fabulous as or even better than me.

better lyrics. . .

. . .because they have to do with food, naturally.

TMI tuesday - TP edition

on the way back from consuming porksicles, i had to go to the bathroom. bad. let's just say i ate too much pork, topped it off with a medium pinkberry with 3 toppings, and was on antibiotics that were making my stomach a little weird anyway. i'll spare you the details of the pain, but i had to go. right when we were in south central. so i made the bear pull off the freeway. i know, perfect timing on my stomach's part.

apparently, all fast food restaurants in the area close at 10 and won't even sell you anything AT 10 or let you use their restrooms since they won't let you be you aren't a real, paying customer. we ended up at a shell station where some cops were taking a donut break. as soon as we parked, the cops pulled away. but of course. oh well. it was well lit, there were a lot of customers for some reason, and i had my strong bear to growl at any scary people for me. i'll leave out details here, too, and just say we got out of there safe and sound, feeling much better, and with an RC cola in the bear's thirsty paw.

after being home for a bit, the bear finally sauntered into the living room, where i had been stomach-down on the sofa watching TV for about 20 minutes. he started looking intently at my butt. i felt his gaze, and then i felt something tickly around my lower back. i spun around to see what the heck he was doing, and he pulled this out, which i promptly grabbed, screamed at in disgust when i realized what it was, and threw on the floor.


to back up a bit, the gas station bathroom didn't have seat covers. so i scrubbed the seat with a huge wad of TP, then laid down a few layers of TP to serve as a seat cover. yes, the situation was that dire. i never ever actually sit on a public toilet. i just squat. when i flushed, i made sure that all 5 of those seat cover trees went down. or so i thought.

that's right. i brought home a souvenir from the shell station. so gross and hilarious at the same time. neither of us could stop laughing. and the kicker--i had changed as soon as i got home into PJs, and the TP tail stayed neatly in its place. oh, and the bear was walking BEHIND me through the yard (albeit in the near dark) on the way back from the car, and neither of us had noticed.

one last image. my women's size 6 slipper next to my souvenir, for scale. unfolded and trailing down my back, it was one long piece.


now you must all think i'm obsessed with poo. not really, i just don't feel like blogging about what's really going on in my life right now as it involves biggish, potentially painful but ultimately very rewarding changes. i had a big disappointment last week regarding those plans, and so poo cupcakes and stories it is. for now. i'll get a little more serious and spill when the time's right. maybe.

dedicated to my architecture/design folk

this one goes out to you.

brought to you by an old college friend and his, er, um, colleagues.

my buddy skims sent me the link last night, and i was dying of laughter while the bear snored away. gigantic redlines rule!

[/designerd excitement]

the dictionary, as written by potato

"what is the opposite of 'lessen,'" you ask? why, that would be greaten.

it just took me a good minute or so to figure out the right word. only after word so nicely underlined that word in green and noted "verb confusion" in the mouseover.

increase. or grow. duh.