[office phone rings at 5:30 PM]

who the heck is calling me now? leave me alone!

me: this is dapotato. (unfortunately, that's not exactly how i answered my office line.)
never-will-be-employed-at-this-rate girl: hi. soooo...do you guys have any internships available?
me: unfortunately, we are not hiring any interns at this time.
NWBEATRG: [sounding indignant] uh, why not?!?
me: with our current workload and staffing, we do not require an intern at this point.
[what i wish i'd said: i don't have to answer that question, rude butt. good bye.]
NWBEATRG: so, you're not hiring?
me: we do have one position open for someone with a minimum of five years of experience, and that is our only current opening.
NWBEATRG: well, i want an internship or entry-level position.
me: like i said, i'm sorry, but we don't have any openings at that level right now.
NWBEATRG: oh. ok. thanks for your time anyway, i guess.
me: [dripping with sarcasm] my pleasure. bye. *click*

i highly doubt she sensed the sarcasm. and i'm not exaggerating what she said. i have transcribed it pretty much word-for-word here. i knew i shouldn't have answered my phone.

oh, and yes, we're hiring. to replace me. so let me know if you have any candidates as fabulous as or even better than me.


  1. there IS no one as fabulous or better than you.

  2. My pleasure! I am so saying this as much as possible now.

  3. you should've told her to come in for an interview and then gave her the address to home depot to talk to the day laborers instead.

  4. don't you just want to reach through the phone and smack people like that?

  5. she sounds exactly like the kind of person you want to create a position for...not!

  6. Wow. A hot mess. She already failed with the time of the call before she opened her mouth.

  7. This reminds me of the movie "Ghost Dad" with Bill Cosby back in the day...where he went through the phone line to smack someone around. I've often wished I could do that. Your experience with this twit is a perfect example of when I get the urge.

  8. Honestly, if you didn't answer the phone after 5 PM you wouldn't have had this brain-damaging conversation in the first place. Next time, be wiser; just let it ring.


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