did fun stuff, didn't feel as fun

the post title sums up this weekend.

[did]
a lot of fun stuff.

walked around a farmer's market in the shadow of a wal-mart. picked up these beauties.
the bear and loooove tomatoes.

saw some other yummies but restrained myself since my produce always goes bad before i eat it all.

What are you doing?
I'm trimming my baby tree.
Bonsai tree.             
Bonsai tree.              
Bonsai.               
Bonsai.               
They're beautiful.
Mr. Miyagi learned it in Okinawa.
That's where he's from.
[in honor of the bear who likes to randomly break out into bits of karate kid
dialogue now and then. oh, and who likes to say all the lines DURING the movie,
about 10 seconds before the character in the movie actually says it.]

took a looooong walk (almost 4 miles) in my rainbow flip flops. not a good idea, even if they are the most comfy flip flops ever. the sea breeze gales did crazy things to my hair.

walked around the long beach museum of art. the dark-ish work of rauschenberg and gord peteren did very little to help my foul mood. luckily, william livingston's pinhole camera photos of the port of long beach fascinated (i love shipping containers) and the view soothed. information on all the exhibits here, if interested.


read the bridget jones's diary. and no reservations by anthony bourdain.

napped. twice.

went to church. heard a great sermon by a guest speaker. and as always, the message was relevant and poked my conscience and heart right there.

finally saw the dark knight. in IMAX, no less. really good movie. dark, yes. postmodern, yes. batman as neither hero nor villain, neither right or wrong, neither black nor white a bit disturbing, yes. its implications about human character made me think hard about my own, though. read too much into action movie, yes. but i was entertained as well. just wow to the special effects, the action sequences shot in gigantic IMAX, and christian bale, that handsome dude. if only he didn't do that annoying "batman" voice.

ate lots of cheese. goat cheese. raclette. fresh mozarella in ciliegine form.

ate lots of delicious produce. amazingly sweet tomatoes. beefy (in size and flavor) heirloom tomatoes. fresh, black mission figs. super sweet ace plums.

kind of scary-looking on the inside.
the tomatoes have got reverse varicose veins,
random membranes,
and muy irregular shapes within shapes within.

tried red mango. finally. the yogurt is definitely creamier, richer, and has a better mouthfeel than pinkberry.

fought with the bear. made up with the bear. had some good quality time with the bear. did our own things while in the same house one whole day with the bear.

[felt]
rather...grumpy. i was pretty chipper all last week with the peak being thursday (not working can do that to ya ;)). however, i did a 180 beginning friday, as you can read, and the grumps followed me into the weekend. the bear called me bipolar. not one to take mental health lightly, i figured moody was more the right word. not exactly sure what it is, but i'm thinking it might be anxiety over upcoming life change, anxiety over a current situation i have very little power to move along/resolve in the way i want it to end and in the quicker timing i'm wishing for, + a change back to my old pill. hopefully i snap out of it soon, as i need as much positive attitude and thoughts i can get for the upcoming changes. the church and bear time today helped.

i wrote a long, long diatribe on the whole going back to school thing. why i'm excited. my reasons for doing it. why i am anxious, and why that anxiety is eclipsing the excitement. however, it's really too long to publish. really. so maybe i'll dole it out in smaller doses here over time. maybe i won't. yeah, still unsure.

my life is full. it is quite nice. filled with lots of fun, freedom, and love. must remind myself (and my hormones?) of this as another week kicks off.