[sung to the tune of "there was an old lady who swallowed a fly"]

There was an old alley filled with feral cats.
I dunno why they moved right on in,
[Yes I do--someone left food out for them, AND the open dumpster of the crack apartment complex a few buildings down made them fat.]
I was hoping they'd die.
[Disclaimer: I am against animal cruelty, but I HATE cats, especially feral ones. I'm a dog person. And I'm just adapting the lyrics, which already uses such harsh words as "die."]

There was a yard that got filled with two minpins,
That wriggled and jiggled and wiggled inside it.
He got the dogs to catch the cats,
But I dunno why the cats ever appeared--
Perhaps they'll scat.

There was an old house that housed a bird nest
How absurd, to hatch some birds!
There was a yard that got filled with two minpins,
That wriggled and jiggled and wiggled inside it.
He got the dogs to catch the cats,
But I dunno why the cats ever appeared--
Perhaps they'll scat.

There was a baby bird that fell out of the nest--
It's dead, of course.

[adaptation of lyrics inspired in part by weezermonkey]

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we have a menagerie in our alley and yard. first, it was the feral cats, two of which were sleeping under landlord's house. they actually started disappearing on their own before landlord got a couple of dogs.

the dogs are left out in the yard during the day to run around while landlord is at work. he usually leaves later than i do and returns way before, so i rarely see them. they're cuties and love both the bear and me despite the fact they barely know us, and we don't know their names. like i said, we're dog people.

about a week ago, i noticed a lot of bird poop on the paved walkway leading from our place to the detached garage. there was loud chirping directly overhead. nest. in the eaves. great. i am definitely not a bird person. from then on, i walked in the grass to avoid potential poop-on-the-head.

on friday morning, one baby bird was on the walkway, directly under the nest. the nest was silent. i have no idea what the eff mama bird did. bird was alert, head moving, but body too young clumsy or crippled to move. i was simultaneously grossed out and feeling sorry for it. i let it be in case mama was still around. i didn't want my human scent on it. not that i would have touched it with my bare hands. later, i winced realizing the dogs would be out during the day. they're min pins. i grew up with a min pin. they're hardly larger than birds, but they kill them. they were bred as rat-catchers back in the day after all. our family min pin is also adept at slowly, tortuously killing crickets.

friday evening, the bear and i were leaving for dinner. no more baby bird on the walkway. i stopped my brain from thinking and practically ran to the car. the bear noticed some bloody tail feathers in the middle of the lawn on his stroll to the car.

nature is, like, majorly grossing me out right now. i hate birds. poor bird.

oh, and the nest? still there. still loud. i guess the other chicks are alive and chirping. very loudly.