writer's block

it's been years since i've attempted to write anything that doesn't fall in either one of two categories: (1) business writing, as in simple faxes or email, or (2) brain barfing on blogs.

i've been hunting, gathering, and spewing every thought that comes to mind, no matter how grammatically incorrect, into a now 10 page word document. i'm not really that much closer to the finished product after a full weekend of this. my true, honest answer to the question i am addressing right now is, "frankly, i don't care. i just need change and finally am taking active steps toward it, so why must you torture me so by making me write?"

on the other hand, i've forgotten and taken for granted how much i used to actually somewhat enjoy writing exercises. i also unearthed some of the most honest writing i've ever produced. it's seven years old, it's making me blush as i read, but i don't think i could do nearly as well now. too bad i can't just c&p it into my current assignment as it doesn't answer the question. do i really want to subject myself to this for 3.5 years?

oh, and the photo? my studio space almost exactly five years ago. somewhere under all that trace, gigantor research document, and drawing instruments is a real, old-fashioned drafting board with a parallel rule. it's crazy how time flies.

2 hours later, ETA:
in all honesty, this nerd is getting kinda sorta excited about the prospect of what the above piece will allow me to work on for the next few years, sleepless nights or not. God grant me the strength to make it through and not completely neglect my home life [and life outside of work, period] during it, if You so choose to open those doors to me.

oh! the fun part of my weekend that was spent outside of our place!

• we finally made it to church. early service, even.
• we went on a date afterward, at gladstone's, with a view of the oh-so-gray sky and water. yay for crab cake bennies (eggs benedict, sub the english muffin for spicy crab cakes instead) and seafood pasta!