i'm feeling like the collegiate version of potato. "what characterizes collegiate potato?" you ask? well, i was rather grumpy due to sleep deprivation, lack of time management, being pulled in too many directions, being confused about my priorities, and wanting to do too much thus spreading myself too thin.
i am tired. i am run down. i am grumpy. i am short-tempered. i lack patience. i am being anti-social as a result but at the same time bemoaning how disconnected i feel. i start being even more tactless than usual. all consideration for others goes out the window, despite the fact that "normal" potato is actually rather considerate of others, down-to-earth, and fun. i cannot get things done. i am usually a pro at knocking stuff off of a list rapid-fire. not so much now. i have multiple lists miles long documenting each part of my life. not even the simplest, which can be taken care of with a phone call, are getting done. i know it's ok. there are times in life when this happens. yet i can't give myself a break.
after a stupid argument that ended with me stupidly stomping off to bed a few days ago, the bear broke through my foul, bratty mood after i sulked in bed for a few minutes. "you're stressed, i can tell. you've been grinding your teeth at night a lot." great. hopefully not too much damage is done before my dentist appointment next month.
i really have very little to complain about in life. i have a job where i get along with everyone well/am paid fairly/am good at what i do/still have room for growth, the sweetest husband, and great friends and family. also, i don't have that much on my plate compared to many. no kids and no huge responsibilities or obligations. sadly, i am learning that all the learning and character development that i thought had occurred mostly within the last handful of years didn't happen. i'm still the base, spoiled five-year old who gets cranky and stressed out when she doesn't get her way and when changes she thinks she won't like (but probably will love once it's all said and done) are imminent. i've been relying much too much on me, him, and not Him.
too.much.text. i know. it's ok if no one reads it. end angst-y rant.
{{hugs}}
ReplyDeletei think we've all been there D. and i'm sure being as type A as you are, this being overwhelmed but not feeling like you can make any headway on your tasks is beyond frustrating. hang in there, continue to put your trust in Him and I know things are going to start feeling better.
btw, sounds like you have a great husband who really knows how to "break through" and is willing to cut you a lot of slack. that is a really good thing and something that i don't think a lot of people have.
you'll be in my thoughts/prayers.
Eek, I can almost hear your keys being pounded in frustration as you type! I hope that everything smooths out for you quickly and the path becomes clear for what you want to do/should be doing.
ReplyDeleteMe, too! (Except collegiate Monkey was totally happy and fun-filled and not at all angsty.)
ReplyDeleteWe are in a rut, the two of us. :P
Lately I've been feeling that way too. Meh. Hang in here Tater!
ReplyDeleteoh, my dear tater. i'm really sorry that you're feeling so down :( i know it doesn't make anything any better, but i think that we've all felt this way at some point in our lives - and for some of us, it's happened more than once. but being surrounded by folks you love and who love you, plus being aware of the blessings that you do have in life will eventually take over and turn that frown upside down!
ReplyDeletei HATE that saying. i don't know why i just foisted it upon you.