Dear John,

Dear Bloglines,

This may come as a total shock to you, but I've been seeing another RSS feed reader. I won't mention his name, but if I tell you his name begins with a "G," you will have a pretty clear idea of who he is.

I need to assure you that it's not you, it's me. You have fulfilled my needs for the most part, as well as any reader could, for the past year. You managed my exorbitant number of feeds and condensed them onto one page. You provided me with a shortcut button for my nav bar called "sub with bloglines" to make subscribing to a new blog as easy as one click. I don't know. I guess I've just been changing, and we're not changing together. It's just that all this blog reading and internet surfing has given me ADD, and I continually need better/bigger/newer/cooler things. And well, G is all the rage all over the internets right now and just keeps continuing to burgeon in popularity, so I couldn't resist the temptation of experiencing something that's just so hot right now. Since I already had an awesome [but platonic, I promise!] relationship established with him for my own blog and email services, it was almost a natural development. I just couldn't resist new eye candy and someone who is just so laid back, easy to be around, and well, accessible. Since he brings me a link to my feeds straight to my email page, it's one less shortcut button on my nav bar, one less page to visit, one less daily login. He made it really hard for even a loyal, one-reader kinda girl to turn him down.

Well, to be totally honest, maybe it is you. The problem is that your format isn't, well, the best looking. You tend to be reticent, and it's difficult to find what makes you tick so that I can do what every woman dreams of - effecting change in her man. Your settings aren't so straightforward to navigate, and I have many a blog that you continue to feed me despite the fact that I'm so over it and click its bolded title with "(10934738)" at the end just so I can un-bold it and get rid of that bothersome number that inspires guilt over being behind in my reading. You just don't make it easy for me to figure out how to delete or turn off a feed. I know, I didn't put much effort into it, but that's because past efforts have been wasted. I work so hard on us, and the results are merely satisfactory at times and utter failures at others.

Don't worry. It's not completely over. I still want to maintain a relationship with you, at least as a safety net, unless G and me can figure out if our relationship is working. I know you don't mind and will wait for me during this trial separation. I know you may always be hoping and waiting that I come back, and for some reason, this time, I don't feel so guilty about stringing you along. See? It must be me. I'm just not good enough for you. I'm sure many other readers will come along who will remain more faithful to you than I have been. After all, there are many other fish out there surfing.

No longer hopelessly devoted solely to you,


[edit: I promise I didn't see this until, oh, right after I posted this entry, of course. Meh!]


  1. Who knew that Bloglines' first name was "John"? Tee hee! This is so hilarious.

    G is such a whore. G services me, too.

  2. he sure does get around... G is my boo, too.

    thank you so much for the laugh! this is so very awesome :)

  3. hee hee! too funny!

    and i'm cracking up at amber calling G her "boo".


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