11.29.2007

TMI thursday

it's cold. it's also dry. my mucous membranes are so, so dry. ow. i cannot blow my nose because my boogers are permanently crusted onto my delicate membranes.


my high school english teacher told us how he never had heard the term "achy" until he met his wife. i guess he really doesn't listen to country. i don't, but i still knew of the achy breaky heart. anyway, he said once he learned the term from his wife, he suddenly got achy whenever he got the flu. prior to knowing the term, he never got achy when he had the flu. or so he claimed.

anyway, this is the case with me and smelly boogers. i never thought to smell my boogers, whether inside my nose or not. the bear apparently can tell if he has a booger just by its smell, even when it's so far up that he can't even feel it yet. now my boogers smell. they have been especially smelly this week. boo to dryness and how it lessens the efficiency of my snozz.


bug update!bug update!bug update!bug update!bug update!bug update!bug update!bug update!bug update!bug update!
first of all, the bug was already dead when photographed. just FYI. it may gross you out more or less, depending on a few factors.
second, thanks to missmissy, we discovered the little alien's identity. potato bug. who knew? WHO KNEW??? thank you, missmissy! we were so puzzled.
lastly, here are a few tasty tidbits from potatobugs.com's FAQ:
Q: What other names are Potato Bugs known by?
A: The common Potato Bug is also known as the Jerusalem cricket. Our Native American friends call him “Woh-tzi-Neh” (Old Bald-Headed Man). In Latin America, he’s “niƱa de la tierra” (child of the earth). Other names include: Satan's fetus, the Devil's spawn, the Devil's child, the Devil's baby, the Devil's fetus, evil fetus, bald devil fetus, bald fetus of Satan, and earth fetus.

Q: Why are potato bugs so ugly and frightening? Why do they look part human? Where did they come from?

A: The most widely held belief is that God didn’t create potato bugs. It was Satan’s work. And amongst evolutionists and non-religious types, the consensus is that potato bugs came from outer space.

Q: I have potato bugs in my vegetable garden. How can I rid myself of these pesky critters?
A: Drench your entire yard with gasoline and set it ablaze. Once the fire has burned itself out and the ground has cooled, cultivate the soil to a depth of seven feet, saturate the area with battery acid and top the surface with gasoline. After a few minutes, most of the surviving potato bugs, now irritated, will burrow up for air. Set the yard on fire again, and let it burn itself out. The remaining bugs should be crisped. Add water. Only then, and only maybe, will you rid yourself of potato bugs.
and that concludes this week's TMI thursday.

6 comments:

  1. Wait. You didn't know it was a potato bug?! I thought that was the whole point of the post! It's your bug!

    I've never smelled my boogers. I didn't even know boogers could smell.

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  2. I love the fact that it was a Potato Bug!!! Like I said - you are a cute tater - he's an ugly one!!!

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  3. love.it.

    could not be more appropriate, even though it's pretty disgusting.

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  4. Hmm interesting, I didn't know boogers smell.

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  5. What are the chances that hideous bug would share your name?? I did not appreciate the fetus talk. ewwww.

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  6. um, i skipped right over the bug stuff. :/

    but i was in tears over your boogers. tears of laughter, though. don't be mad at me.

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